Just a word about verbs

Verbs

No technical jargon here, just a word about verbs:  active

If you read yesterday's post, prompt, and example, you noticed that one of my writing strategies emphasizes "Strong Verbs," listing many of the verbs from the story.

Strong verbs: dropped, plopped, invited, wrapped, grabbed, gathered, giggled, opened, unwrapped, melted, slumped

What do you notice about those verbs?

The verbs represent action --- doing something.

When writing, use action verbs. Write as if you exist in the moment or a past moment.

Eliminate the dead verbs: is, are, was, were, am, be, gone, look, took, __ing

Rewrite the sentences with action verbs.

Examine the bold words so far in this post: I purposefully chose my sentence structure to include better, and stronger verbs. I did not say, "Write as if you are in the moment..."  I eliminated "are" and added "exist."

In yesterday's post, I wrote,

"Finally it was time for opening presents."  

"was," a dead verb.  This spot begs for dialogue. [I did not write, "This would be a good place for dialogue" -- "would be," represents a dead verb.] I suggest this revision:

"Girls," Melanie's mom called. "Gather in the foyer so Mel can open her presents."

 Put your reader into your story with the action inferred by dialogue -- your reader lives it with you.

Another dead verb use:

It seemed every time we moved from activity to activity...

The solution?  Drop "It seemed."

Every time we moved from activity to activity...

Another dead verb example:

I looked at a long narrow table against one wall. It was filled with chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars.

Transform it to:

I glanced at a long narrow table against one wall, topped with chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars.

Although not an easy task at first,  when you focus and practice the elimination of dead verbs, your writing grows more real and interesting. With practice, your word choice improves and your ability to write with action more easily develops.

One last example. Of the beach picture at the top of the page, how would you write a description?

On the shore was a sand castle.  [dead verb]

or

A sand castle and a blue pail called to me.    [personification]

or

A sand castle waited for further excavation.

or

A child's sand castle waited for the next wave.

Consider the verbs in your writing today. Revise for action! Your readers will love you for it!

Slice of Life Writing

What is a slice of life story?  

A slice of life story is a realistic SHORT story, a slice of your life retold as fiction. It’s just a “snippet” that tells a moment in your everyday life.  That moment is like a snapshot. When you look at it, you remember and write what happened just before, then you describe your snapshot experience with as much realism and details as possible— as if it’s happening right now. 

Write so your reader can feel what you feel, see what you see, do what you do, and think what you do. It is not a list of things you did in one day— it is one moment of time that you capture step by step. It does not contain personal information, just a story. Remember to change the names to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Click here for an annotated example of a slice of life story. Notice all the specific details and descriptions and dialogue -- lots of sights and sounds-- taking you moment by moment through the story. Each word, chosen so carefully, engages the imagination of the reader. This is "word choice."

Remember, your moment is one others can learn from — or laugh or cry because the reader has experienced something similar. Our lives in their everyday moments are special, because it is the journey that is important; let’s share that slice of our days. 

Read another example here.  

Why write a slice of life?

• You will have readers hearing your voice because you have written using sensory details [sights, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions] and action.

• You will discover new topics, turn the ordinary into extraordinary, and become better with each slice.

• You can try out new techniques taught in lessons, and share some of your own.

• You will begin to notice that stories are everywhere.

• You will also be a member of a writing community.

• You will learn how to give positive and constructive feedback.

Enjoy discovering your own and others’ new stories.  I look forward to reading them soon.

Get Started

Open your Google Docs. Name it Slice of Life and your first name.  You can draft all your "slices" on this document each week. Make a list of memories, animal stories, little brother or sister stories, fun times, silly times, etc.  Choose one that's school appropriate. Example

1. Quickly write about that slice for a few minutes, just to get the idea down.
2. Now, jump down a few spaces, and start over -- this time, write it like it's happening now.  Describe the setting and the feelings just before it happened.  Then describe the event with details, sights, sounds, and dialogue. Let us live it too. Put your voice into it.
3. End with how you felt, and a question for us.
4. Edit your spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar.
5. While editing, think of a good title.
6. Below your post, share the excellent writing you did. For example, in this practice and this blog:

• I described the setting:  "The wind blew through the cracks in the window sill of the older home, and the furnace creaked, both keeping me awake the whole night."

• I included descriptions:

• Sights: "We built a snowman, rolling and pressing the crisp snow into huge balls. We placed rocks for eyes, nose, and mouth, and stood back to look at our creation, pushing our scarves up over our noses"

• Sounds: "the furnace creaked"

• I included details [5WH]: "I ran back to the front door, but it was still locked. A tear welled up in my eye, but I brushed it away. I rocked back and forth from foot to foot to keep the cold from holding onto them. I walked in circles around the house for what seemed like hours."

• I included dialogue:

"Tag -- you're it!"I caught her right away -- I was a fast kid.Sandy pouted, "Not fair!"

     7. Copy and paste your Slice of Life and writing skills into a new blog post. Title it "SOL + your topic/title".  Write Slice of Life as a label so you can find all your posts for Tuesdays. Download the orange "Slice of Life" image at the top of this post and upload it to your blog, if you want. Add another Creative Commons or Public Domain image to your blog too. 

Note about Images:

Go here for more information on images: How to find Creative Commons images. 

Go here for how to search for images in Google Docs and Slides [see slide 8].

Remember to cite the source of your image.

Remember to only use Creative Commons or Public Domain images.

Respect the copyright of others-- -- you wouldn't want someone else to steal your images.

8.  Publish. Here are more examples of  Slice of Life with Writing Strategies blogposts.

9. Read and comment on two of your peers' Slice of Life.  If you want a professional and linked URL, click here to learn how to do this.  Go here to see two comments — one just pasting the URL, and the other using this code.

---

Next Steps

We will continue to write SLICE posts and reflect on our growth as writers as well as connect with other SLICErs. 

On another day, I will post a reflection piece for you to choose your best SLICE and explain why you think so with explanations of the research and writing strategies you used for your SLICE to make it good.

Look for other classrooms writing for Slice of Life too.  

---

Blog Example and Directions

A New Year of Ideas

Welcome

Need to write for class?

Relax

and think of these strategies

Writers have ideas. But they may not often just pop into your head, although they could. 

Do you have a topic?  If so, make a list of all you know about the topic. Lists are a great way to sort through what's on your mind about a topic. It''s one of the number one ways to get started. Here's one from my summer.  If you must write about summer -- pick ONE thing, not the whole summer. Here's how I started thinking about boating:

• sunshine
• heat
• refreshing wind and water
• swimming alongside the boat
• flag up
• visiting the waterfall
• clouds darken
• whitecaps appear
• rain falls
• rough ride home

Some people like webs. Think of a spider web -- a center with lines radiating from it. Here's how I started thinking about boating with a web (link here:)

I tried to think of everything about boating because the part I'm writing about is the storm. But I want to build to that scary ride with some details about how we got there, had fun, and then Bam! Bad weather.

Sometimes instead of a web, I just start thinking in ideas like a list, but I cluster the ideas. This helps me organize better. I can just keep adding.

Of course, free-writing is another way to get ideas. Just start writing on your topic.

One hot sunny day in August, we gathered up our favorite snacks, made sandwiches, and headed out to Cresent Bay boat launch to spend a day on the lake, It started out awesome: we "toodled" around looking for a great beach, stopped at a waterfall...

So there's four ways to start writing on a topic: list, web, cluster, free-write. Tools you can use are Google Docs (so you have your ideas anywhere you have an Internet connection), paper, Google Drawing (to make a mind map or cluster), Google Sheets (for clustering), Mindmeister or other brainstorming app.

However, writers do something else: they constantly keep lists of ideas to write about based on what happens in their life.  Hear a mom and kid talking that make you smile? Write it down. See an amazing stunt by the skateboarder zooming by-- write it down. Notice an interesting person on the escalator-- write that description down.

What makes good stories is that what you read is believable.  Usually that's because the author wrote about what s/he knew, experienced, or observed.  So keep a small notebook in your pocket for such times. 

Or, use your phone -- dictate that description or idea into a note in one of your apps on your device. Find an app that you can organize and dictate so you know it is your writing notebook. 

Google Docs app lets you use your iPhone mic from your keyboard to dictate write in your Google doc! I'm not sure if that's available for Android phones -- let us know in the comments below.

Just get those lists, ideas, and descriptions down!  Your hobbies, interests, favorites, likes. dislikes, wishes for the world, places you want to travel, places you've been,-- just starting writing lists and writing your observations in the world.

One last idea: my friend Paul Allison at Youth Voices suggests a great start of the year activity on "self" questions -- list 10 questions you wonder about yourself, and list 10 questions you wonder about the world. Then start answering them -- more than once!  That'll make a writer and thinker out of you!

What do we know now?

Topic writing: lists, webs, clusters, free-write.

Writing Ideas: lists, self-world questions, observations

What strategies do you use for writing on topics in class?

What strategies do use as a writer for getting ideas and for developing ideas?

Now launch your writing year and share it with us here.

Character Warm Up

Monday Morning Warm-Up by Jo Knowles

June 11, 2012

The Prompt:

Think of someone you know well, someone you care about, or someone you love (or detest, that can be fun too!) and make a list poem like the one above, describing all of the traits that made that person special, unique, memorable, frightening (you get the picture). Try to avoid clichés. Instead, give us specific tidbits that show how the person's eyes sparkled rather than say they did--don't fail at it like me! :-) Once you have your list, circle your favorites. Think about why you like those the best. Now try to use similar ones to describe the characters in your works in progress. Give them their own particularities that might reveal something deeper about their personalities. But mostly, as I said last week, try to have FUN!

My Writing:

Decidedly Determined

Long, sleek black hair, falling straight to the middle of her back

Flowing like a cape around

her shoulders

Steele brown eyes, penetrating when disagrees, 

eyebrows straight to finish the staredown

Waits

Waits

Questions calmly

Eyes soft and sparklling 

like dark amber shining,

laughing, 

eyebrows relaxed

Waits

Waits

Comments softly

Almost always serious in class

eyes questioning,

smile flattened,

attending

Quiet

Focused

Finished

Ask questions

to create and add

to assignments

Tallest kid in class

Taller than the teacher

Stocky and strong, 

Grace with legs long,

a family trait;

Powerful discus thrower

Endurance basketballer

Formidable

Fierce

A force 

opponents

move away

Long strides in the hall

Surrounded by friends

Less shy

Voice soft yet strong

Encouraging and teasing

Flicks her head back

to adjust her hair

Brushes hair quickly

away from her face

Serious again

Always prepared

Always willing

to learn and revise

Steady thinking

thinking

thinking

then

working

working

a question

working

finishing

Always loving

Always helping

Grandmother

Guides her walk

Sits and talks

Waits for meetings

Entertains herself

Til needed again

Patient

Devoted

Decidedly Distinguished

Blogging: Starting With Comments

How does a teacher with no experience begin blogging with middle school students? Here’s another idea?

Introduction:

First, we reviewed Internet Safety since we already use wikis. (Netsmarz.org is great)

I asked students a question or asked them to respond to a quote. While reading about Martin Luther King, Jr, students chose a quote from his work. Students wrote the quote on an index card and explained why they chose the quote or what they thought about the quote. Then we passed the card to the student on the left, and that student read the card and added a sticky note comment. The note needed to be at least three sentences, refer or quote something from the original text, and be “overly positive.” We handed the card and comment to the left again, and that student read the comment and the card. We continued passing to the left and adding sticky note comments, which could comment on the original text or any of the comments.

As we passed the work along, student comments became longer and better as they read other comments that were better than some who had not followed our protocol and simply wrote, “I agree.” By the time every one had commented on every one else’s card, all students had written at least one good comment.

Discussion:


When the original writer received the card, they chose and shared the comments that helped them think more or caused them to want to add to their original ideas. One student, a very active youngster, proceded to notate every one of his comments by placing a sticky note on the back of each of the sticky notes on his card!

We talked about how each one had added to the conversation, how their positive words (even if they disagreed, but positively) demonstrated their own character as well as their ideas, and how they had become a small community on the topic of MLK.

Application:

Next, we looked at a new site called Tween Tribune (http://tweentribune.com/), a site for students and teachers with kid-friendly news feeds on which to comment or add their own stories. We read comments and critiqued them, noticing some grammatical errors and mostly that some comments did not add to the conversation.

Of course, the students began asking to make their own comments. We completed two comments together to see how to do it — and we decided to use the fantastic “check spelling” aspect every time!

Students have been commenting for two weeks.

Our next goal: write a class news story.

Just a few small steps (Internet Safety, commenting protocol, note-card practice) and we began the blogging journey. Have fun!

Note: Students names are pseudonyms.
Sample Comment Template from Youth Voices