Conversation 3

What are we learning this week?

Monday: Observation / Point of View
Tuesday: Slice of Life in Conversation
Wednesday: Conversation of Objects
Thursday: Conversation: Poem in Two Voices

You may have read the poetry book, "Joyful Noise: A Poem for Two Voices," by Paul Fleischman.




Listen to Mrs Mathieson's students read their Poems for Two Voices:



 Poetry, they explain, is a global language of expression, emotion, opinion, and, in two voices, perspectives. You'll hear sports, love & hate, Mother & Daughter, and many more.  Listen to how they spoke separate at times and at other times together, to show compare, contrast, and the strength of each voice and perspective.

It seems like a conversation; it could be. It could be a separate idea thinking to itself, but read together.

So think of two things: people, objects, cause/effect, problem/solution, issues. Compare and contrast the two things you choose. What would they say, to each other or by themselves? Be active and precise in your word choice, as you write what each would say. Then juxtapose your two poems into one poem for two voices.

For example. Yesterday the sun and the coneflower exchanged words in a conversation.

How might I compare and compose two voices based on those two ideas:

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Coneflower and The Sun

Ah.	Oh
I love the streaming	I love
	flinging out my energy
rays warming my petals
Yellow and bright
	bright and piercing
Like I am the sun
shining forever	shining forever
	reaching out onward
	as the circle of planets
but I grow cold
	In the cold
in my place	of my space
as earth’s tilt and turns	as earth’s tilt and turns
lose the warmth	lose the warmth
of Sun’s rays.	of my rays.
	I shine on
My shine dims
My petals fall
My leaves brown
	I shine on
My seeds fall
I live on	I live on
In spring sprouts
	And on
A cycle of life.	A cycle of life.

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Your turn!  What objects carried on a conversation for you yesterday? Use those or another two objects to create your own poem for two voices.

Share the link in the comments below.

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Note: I created the poem in Google Docs in a table for each line. 

I changed the table properties by setting the table border at zero (0). 

I then copied/paste the title and table into my blog. 

Photo: Sheri Edwards 

A resource on Poems for Two Voices: 

Lesson from Northern Nevada Writing Project and WritingFix

Conversation 2

What are we doing this week?

Monday: Observation / Point of View
Tuesday: Slice of Life in Conversation
Wednesday: Conversation 2

How about a conversation between non-human objects? Imagine what your sock would say to your big toe and your shoe? Or the basketball to your hand and the court floor? Or your dull pencil to the sharpener?

Here's an example:

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I stood strong, second in line, my petals spread out to enjoy the warmth of the September sun.

"Sun," I asked, "You are sleeping earlier today."

"Yes," replied the sun. "I can't quite reach you any more when your Earth follows its path around me at its equinox."

A fluff of cumulous cloud passed across the face of the beaming sun. A shadow brought a shiver of coolness to all the coneflowers.

As the sun's rays slipped out its warming beams once again as the cloud moved on, sun added, "Excuse the interruption, and I apologize in advance of the continued shortening of my waking hours."

"But sun," I said, "If you take longer naps, my blossom will droop as my leaves dry up without your nourishing rays. I will grow old."

"Ah," sun replied. "That is part of our relationship; you will then drop your deep brown seeds into the earth and be renewed in the spring when I will meet your kin."

The evening breeze ruffled my petals.

Sun reached out, "You are preparing now for that part of our cycle. You have breathed life into the air as oxygen and gave your nectar to the bees and added beauty to the earth. You have made the world better; it is as we all should be and do."

"I have helped the world. I need to finish my journey." As one petal dropped, the sun dipped below the horizon.

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Did you follow the conversation that included science and the cycle of seasons and day to night?

You could be serious with science or history, or you could humorous. Just think of something you know about, and start writing the conversation between the objects. Jump right in the middle to get started, or set it up as I did with a picture. Can you tell which flower was speaking?

Remember to use action words and write in the moment, as if you are one of the characters now. You'll take that object's point of view, like the flower losing the warmth from the summer hours of sunshine.

Your turn!  Please share your responses with a link in the comments below.

Photo: (c) 2016 Sheri Edwards

Just a word about verbs

Verbs

No technical jargon here, just a word about verbs:  active

If you read yesterday's post, prompt, and example, you noticed that one of my writing strategies emphasizes "Strong Verbs," listing many of the verbs from the story.

Strong verbs: dropped, plopped, invited, wrapped, grabbed, gathered, giggled, opened, unwrapped, melted, slumped

What do you notice about those verbs?

The verbs represent action --- doing something.

When writing, use action verbs. Write as if you exist in the moment or a past moment.

Eliminate the dead verbs: is, are, was, were, am, be, gone, look, took, __ing

Rewrite the sentences with action verbs.

Examine the bold words so far in this post: I purposefully chose my sentence structure to include better, and stronger verbs. I did not say, "Write as if you are in the moment..."  I eliminated "are" and added "exist."

In yesterday's post, I wrote,

"Finally it was time for opening presents."  

"was," a dead verb.  This spot begs for dialogue. [I did not write, "This would be a good place for dialogue" -- "would be," represents a dead verb.] I suggest this revision:

"Girls," Melanie's mom called. "Gather in the foyer so Mel can open her presents."

 Put your reader into your story with the action inferred by dialogue -- your reader lives it with you.

Another dead verb use:

It seemed every time we moved from activity to activity...

The solution?  Drop "It seemed."

Every time we moved from activity to activity...

Another dead verb example:

I looked at a long narrow table against one wall. It was filled with chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars.

Transform it to:

I glanced at a long narrow table against one wall, topped with chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars.

Although not an easy task at first,  when you focus and practice the elimination of dead verbs, your writing grows more real and interesting. With practice, your word choice improves and your ability to write with action more easily develops.

One last example. Of the beach picture at the top of the page, how would you write a description?

On the shore was a sand castle.  [dead verb]

or

A sand castle and a blue pail called to me.    [personification]

or

A sand castle waited for further excavation.

or

A child's sand castle waited for the next wave.

Consider the verbs in your writing today. Revise for action! Your readers will love you for it!

Something for You: Birthday

Today: free write and revise to elaborate with details and dialogue.

Prompt: Describe one incident at one of your birthday parties. Adapting prompt OK :)

Free write: Not My Party


I was eight or nine years old, and gladly accepted the invitation to a neighbor's birthday party. She lived in one of those mansion-like old hopes two blocks up from my home, a small cottage really, tucked in between two other houses. It was probably the first house on a farm, whose owners built a better house next door.

So entering the foyer with my present for --- hmm, can't remember her name. Of course there were games and cake and ice cream. And rice crispy bars. How I loved that sweet crunch, sticky bite by bite. The mother encouraged me, "Go ahead. Eat as many as you like. It's a party."

And I did. It seemed every time we moved from activity to activity -- singing, playing a game, lunch -- I would grab another rice crispy bar. There were oodles of them. Every kid loved them.

Finally it was time for opening presents. We each received our own little bag of goodies to open: super balls, puzzles, whistle, and salt water taffy. As I sat in the circle to watch __ unwrap her presents, I opened the taffy and plopped it in my mouth. But that was it. I turned green I'm sure, and stood up and ran to the bathroom. That was the end of the birthday party. And I have never eaten another rice crispy bar.

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First Think:

Re-reading the ideas, I see I need to remember my friend's name and add some details about the party. I didn't finish the thought in the second paragraph. I need more dialogue and also describe why I thought I turned green. So here's the first revision:


"Mom!" I called as I dropped my books on the end table after a day of school. "Mom!"

"Yes? I'm in the kitchen." Mom replied.

I ran into the kitchen waving a bright pink invitation. "I've been invited to Melanie's birthday party tomorrow. She really likes those new colored headbands. Can we get her a couple of those?"

Mom nodded yes as she read the invitation. "We can get those at Woolworths after dinner."

The next day I walked up the two blocks to Melanie's house carrying the headbands I'd wrapped in her favorite color, bright pink. Her house stood out from the others: it was a deep blue and three stories high with a castle-like tower on the side, just off the wrap around front porch.

My house was tiny, an old farm house over a hundred years old tucked in between larger homes on either side, set apart on each side by rows of lilac bushes.

I carefully stepped up each of the four front porch steps, and knocked on the door.

I could hear giggling inside as Melanie opened one side of the double oak door.

In the foyer, the marble floor sparkled and a table held the presents. I handed mine to Melanie. "You'll love it!" I told her.

She took at and smiled, "Thanks."

She led me to a room she called the parlor. It held two large blue sofas and several comfy chairs, all with end tables. All the girls sat in a circle playing "telephone." Melanie and I joined in the circle. Sandy said, "I heard 'Has the big dog eaten a key?"

Every at the beginning of the circle started laughing. Karen, who had started the game said, "No! I said 'Happy Birthday Melanie!'" Every girl giggled.

Melanie's mom explained the next game, and said, "Get a snack any time you want."

I looked at a long narrow table against one wall. It was filled with chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars. Two plates full of them. Golden and shiny. How I loved that sweet crunch of each sticky bite.

Melanie's mom encouraged us, "Go ahead. Eat as many as you like. It's a party."

And we did. And I did. It seemed every time we moved from activity to activity -- singing, playing a game, lunch -- I would grab another rice crispy bar. There were oodles of them. Every kid loved them.

Finally it was time for opening presents. We gathered in a circle in the foyer, which was a room larger than my bedroom. I grabbed probably my fifth rice crispy bar on the way in. Under a mirror, on a table by the stairs, were our own little bag of goodies to open. I plopped down next to Karen and Melanie's mom handed us our treat. I thanked her as I took my treat while popping the last bite of my rice crispy bar.

We both giggled as we settled into the circle. I opened the pink bag and and peaked in: super balls, puzzles, whistle, and salt water taffy. I pulled out and unwrapped a piece of pink taffy, plopping it into my mouth. I sunk my teeth into that super sweet and chewy candy.  It's sweetness melted in my mouth but the flavor was like pure sugar. I felt my stomach turn. I felt warmer and shivered. I turned green I'm sure. I slumped over and held my stomach. I stood up slowly, and continued to hold in the butterflies in my tummy.

Karen said, "Are you OK?"

Melanie's mom noticed and said, "Sheri, the bathroom is just up the stairs. I ran into the bathroom, and that was the end of the birthday party.

When I came down the stairs, my mom was waiting in the foyer with the giggling circle of girls.

"Thanks for calling me, Myrna," she said to Melanie's mom. She held out her hand to take mine and walked me home.

And I have never eaten another rice crispy bar. Ever.

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How did I do in my revision?

Did I add dialogue?

Did I invite you to walk to the party with me and see and do the things I did?

Did I show the details of the food?

Did I add how and why I 'turned green'?

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Writing Strategies:

Dialogue:  talking to mom, talking to Melanie, playing the game

Description:  of her fancy house - "it was a deep blue and three stories high with a castle-like tower on the side, just off the wrap around front porch."

Description: of the food - sights and taste - chocolate chip cookies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, bowls of M&Ms and peanuts, and on the end, above a lace doily, rice crispy bars. Two plates full of them. Golden and shiny. How I loved that sweet crunch of each sticky bite.

Details:  getting sick - ". I sunk my teeth into that super sweet and chewy candy.  It's sweetness melted in my mouth but the flavor was like pure sugar. I felt my stomach turn. I felt warmer and shivered. I turned green I'm sure. I slumped over and held my stomach. I stood up slowly, and continued to hold in the butterflies in my tummy."

Strong verbs: dropped, plopped, invited, wrapped, grabbed, gathered, giggled, opened, unwrapped, melted, slumped

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Tag!  You're it!

Prompt: Describe one incident at one of your birthday parties. Adapting prompt OK :)

Today: free write and revise to elaborate with details and dialogue.

Link to your slice of life in the comments below.

Image Source:

License Creative Commons 2.0

 Some rights reserved 

by Anders Ruff Custom

Slice of Life Writing

What is a slice of life story?  

A slice of life story is a realistic SHORT story, a slice of your life retold as fiction. It’s just a “snippet” that tells a moment in your everyday life.  That moment is like a snapshot. When you look at it, you remember and write what happened just before, then you describe your snapshot experience with as much realism and details as possible— as if it’s happening right now. 

Write so your reader can feel what you feel, see what you see, do what you do, and think what you do. It is not a list of things you did in one day— it is one moment of time that you capture step by step. It does not contain personal information, just a story. Remember to change the names to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Click here for an annotated example of a slice of life story. Notice all the specific details and descriptions and dialogue -- lots of sights and sounds-- taking you moment by moment through the story. Each word, chosen so carefully, engages the imagination of the reader. This is "word choice."

Remember, your moment is one others can learn from — or laugh or cry because the reader has experienced something similar. Our lives in their everyday moments are special, because it is the journey that is important; let’s share that slice of our days. 

Read another example here.  

Why write a slice of life?

• You will have readers hearing your voice because you have written using sensory details [sights, sounds, smells, tastes, emotions] and action.

• You will discover new topics, turn the ordinary into extraordinary, and become better with each slice.

• You can try out new techniques taught in lessons, and share some of your own.

• You will begin to notice that stories are everywhere.

• You will also be a member of a writing community.

• You will learn how to give positive and constructive feedback.

Enjoy discovering your own and others’ new stories.  I look forward to reading them soon.

Get Started

Open your Google Docs. Name it Slice of Life and your first name.  You can draft all your "slices" on this document each week. Make a list of memories, animal stories, little brother or sister stories, fun times, silly times, etc.  Choose one that's school appropriate. Example

1. Quickly write about that slice for a few minutes, just to get the idea down.
2. Now, jump down a few spaces, and start over -- this time, write it like it's happening now.  Describe the setting and the feelings just before it happened.  Then describe the event with details, sights, sounds, and dialogue. Let us live it too. Put your voice into it.
3. End with how you felt, and a question for us.
4. Edit your spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar.
5. While editing, think of a good title.
6. Below your post, share the excellent writing you did. For example, in this practice and this blog:

• I described the setting:  "The wind blew through the cracks in the window sill of the older home, and the furnace creaked, both keeping me awake the whole night."

• I included descriptions:

• Sights: "We built a snowman, rolling and pressing the crisp snow into huge balls. We placed rocks for eyes, nose, and mouth, and stood back to look at our creation, pushing our scarves up over our noses"

• Sounds: "the furnace creaked"

• I included details [5WH]: "I ran back to the front door, but it was still locked. A tear welled up in my eye, but I brushed it away. I rocked back and forth from foot to foot to keep the cold from holding onto them. I walked in circles around the house for what seemed like hours."

• I included dialogue:

"Tag -- you're it!"I caught her right away -- I was a fast kid.Sandy pouted, "Not fair!"

     7. Copy and paste your Slice of Life and writing skills into a new blog post. Title it "SOL + your topic/title".  Write Slice of Life as a label so you can find all your posts for Tuesdays. Download the orange "Slice of Life" image at the top of this post and upload it to your blog, if you want. Add another Creative Commons or Public Domain image to your blog too. 

Note about Images:

Go here for more information on images: How to find Creative Commons images. 

Go here for how to search for images in Google Docs and Slides [see slide 8].

Remember to cite the source of your image.

Remember to only use Creative Commons or Public Domain images.

Respect the copyright of others-- -- you wouldn't want someone else to steal your images.

8.  Publish. Here are more examples of  Slice of Life with Writing Strategies blogposts.

9. Read and comment on two of your peers' Slice of Life.  If you want a professional and linked URL, click here to learn how to do this.  Go here to see two comments — one just pasting the URL, and the other using this code.

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Next Steps

We will continue to write SLICE posts and reflect on our growth as writers as well as connect with other SLICErs. 

On another day, I will post a reflection piece for you to choose your best SLICE and explain why you think so with explanations of the research and writing strategies you used for your SLICE to make it good.

Look for other classrooms writing for Slice of Life too.  

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Blog Example and Directions

Poetry Self-Portraits

Purpose

Create an artistic impression of youself through art, essay and poetry. Follow these directions for your draft. Then create a "W8 2009 Code" Page to type up your list and begin your drafts and revisions.

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Idea Lists

Create lists of at least ten items to finish each of the following:

I like:

I am:

Of the eagle traits, I am __________ because__________ (See bottom of page; choose at least two)

Animals I am like are (at least three):

________ because ______

________ because ______

________ because ______

Ten years into the future, I will:

Image (Square)/Symbol

Read over all your lists. Try to think of images that represent you, your traits, your likes, the animals you associate with, etc. Use those images to create a square symbol that represents you as a whole person. Use large pictures and color.

Example:

Poem

Write a descriptive poem that expresses each of your traits represented in you symbols. Explain each image with examples and each major color as a symbol of one of your traits.

Hints:

Start out with the question: Who am I?

Then describe yourself using your images as examples.

The beginning to the example symbol might be:

Who am I?

I am a cat wrapped in a circle sitting in the sun napping for the afternoon. I show the pleasant and friendly things in life.

I am spicy pepperoni, sizzling in your mouth bursting with flavor like an enthusiastic cheerleader cheering for our team.

I am the blue sky providing sunlight and power, just as I provide kindness and help to my family. I help them like a wolf pack protects and provides for each other.

I am clicking keys, tapping my creative thoughts on the screen as I transform ideas into prose or poetry about the laughter of several grandkids chattering over their imaginary and evolving games in the shade of the sycamore in the backyard.

I am floating in the shade on the boat on a hot afternoon reading or ambling with Pooka on the grassy path near the calm lake listening to the sounds of seasonal birds just before gently swinging on the bench swing with grandkids by my side, relaxing after a fun day of togetherness.

Essay

Write an engaging explanation of your symbol using as many of the list ideas as you can. Each list could be a paragraph, ending with your future goals.

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Wordle

Copy and paste your lists from your "W8 2009 Code" page into the site at:

http://www.wordle.net/create

to create a Wordle about you. Take a screen shot of it (ask how). We'll add it to your site with proper citation. If you write your name five times in the list, your name will show up largest.

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Sample Lists and Wordle:

I like:

• floating in the shade on the boat on a hot afternoon reading
• ambling with Pooka on the grassy path near the calm lake listening to the sounds of seasonal birds
• listening to the laughter of several grandkids chattering over their imaginary and evolving games in the shade of the sycamore in the backyard
• hearing the click of keys tapping my creative thoughts on the screen as I transform ideas into prose or poetry
• gently swinging on the bench swing with grandkids by my side, relaxing after a fun day of togetherness
• transforming images of friends and family into a visual story through digital iMovies
• observing the "aha!" of students whose minds marvelously pop with a sudden understanding of a concept
• listening to the soft purr of my cat trusting his world to me
• melting flavor of dark chocolate slowly dissolving into a silky sliver in my mouth
• engaging dialogue on substantial topics with always sensitive and insightful Scott

I am

• diligent
• creative
• focused
• serious
• productive
• pleasant
• geeky
• inventive
• stubborn
• thoughtful

EAGLE Traits

I show the EAGLE trait of effort when I write carefully and personally tuned lessons for my students.

I display acceptance when I acknowledge the differing needs and personalities of students.

I live enthusiasm when I stand in front of dull eyes and turn them into sparkles with words and ideas.

I exhibit generosity in spirit when I offer alternative assignments for students.

I demonstrate loyalty by teaching at Nespelem School for twenty-four years.

I model self-respect when I get my work done.

Animals I am like include

• cougars for their independent striving for survival
• wolf to help my family like a pack protects and provides for each other
• cat who likes nothing better than a nap in the sunshine

In the future ten years from now, I will

• be volunteering to help in schools with computer projects
• be helping grandkids with projects
• hiking with Scott behind city hall
• sharing conversations with family and friends
• be writing a book about thinking

Wordle

http://www.wordle.net/create

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EAGLE Traits

Poetry and Pictures with PicLit

Love poetry? Here's your chance for focusing ideas and imprinting images by adding text to pictures.

Here's an example:


See the full PicLit at PicLits.com

The text says:

Lincoln
Remembered
dreams
for
us.

Will
we?

I chose the picture to honor President Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday this year. I chose the words from a list provided for me. I chose those words because Lincoln knew we needed to stay together as a Union -- united together. He remembered the dreams we all have, and worked to keep the dream of America and us alive. Will we?

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How to create your own poetry pictures?


1. Go to PicLit
2. Choose a picture.
3. Connect to it with your ideas and experience.
4. Read the words in the list provided. Develop in your mind a message that expresses your ideas.
5. Choose the words that express your connection to the image. Be short and concise -- the picture should dominate, and the words should draw out a theme from the image.
6. Save, email, blog, etc.
7. You can also take a screenshot, but be sure you credit PicLit.

Poetry in Pictures, a fun way to learn to be concise and exact.